Saturday, August 15, 2009

Frozen Yogurt Vs. Sex

On my way home from the grocery store this afternoon I decided ( or more like driven by a craving), decided even though it was 5pm to get frozen yogurt before dinner. Normally I would bug my husband to pry his behind off the couch so I'd at least have the company in the car after dinner and (me driving of course) would go to get myself a frozen yogurt at my new fav place downtown. Now you have to understand as we women get older things slowly get taken away from the line up. Might be salt or caffeine or alcohol out of our diet due to medications or blood pressure or weight problems, or time for sensible shoes due to corns or bunions meaning no cute stylish heels....whatever....hey...as mothers we've done are time and we deserve a little reward now and then? Eh? And lately mine has been this particular yogurt. Mostly because they have multiple flavors to choose from and you help yourself...Sweet! And And...they have tons of different topping that again you control! Heaven!!!! I've pretty much got it down to a science....and it's like 60/40 yogurt/candy....okay the other part of the science is weight. I can get mine under or around $2.00 and it satisfies my craving without filling me up, how perfect is that....Sweet and Cheap,a mommy meter is always on!

So now when you get older you tend to equate things to past experiencesin your life for instance, my ear infection pain was up there close to child birth pain. Or that chocolate cake was so sinful it bas better than sex! Well I'm not gonna say my Yogurt is better than sex but, hey there are reasons we like to think it ranks up there and sometimes peaks over the all mighty sex. Because once you reach that lovely pinnacle of your late 40's pushing 50's nature plays nasty tricks only on womens bodies, so unfair! So you really find alternatives to help ease the pain of these changes in your body, especially if the sex just isn't what it used to be anymore. That's not to say it's not good or you don't like or want it. It's just seems now you have the time to put the time into it and those damn hormone are all "f'd up, this is why we need little things throughout the day to make life/sex...blah blah blah well more tolerable. So let it be I say...mine is Pedicures and Yogurt. And why is Yogurt so high on the list you might ask well: 1. you really can get it when YOU want. 2. you can get it the way you want it, "extra sprinkles please....mmmmm". 3. Sure you have to pay for it, but it's cheap and easy and it doesn't talk back.
I also rank my pedicures up there too since the place I go does an amazing massage ahhhhh, now this does cost me a bit more money and I do feel a bit sleazy paying for just the massage at times...;-). Call it what you want "prostitution for my feet" hey whatever.
But since my husband wont rub my feet which to me would be damn close to having sex, and when I asked for a back rub once it was like a gorilla groping me. Well, you do what a woman just has to do....go out and pay for it! Men do it all the time.....

So this brings me back to Frozen Yogurt Vs. Sex, well one day I may be to old and feeble and I might actuallly break a hip if I try and have sex, but no matter how old I am I'll always be able to slurp a frozen yogurt down my gullet. Hey kids, make sure whatever nursing home you plant me in theres a Yogurt shop with in walker distance for me okay?

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