Thursday, August 13, 2009

My First Attempt....

Okay so here it is, in a nutshell. I'm not a writer...really. Well in my head I have all these vivid thoughts, but when I try to constuct them onto paper they sound contrived and well...stupid. If and I say "IF" anyone even reads this....(((Disclaimer))) English was not my strong point in School, Art was my thing so my hand was probably doodling cartoons instead of punctuation.
So my grammar Will and Does suck so please look past the error of my ways, the real goal here is to just try and convey my thoughts of where I'm at in this so called life of mine.

So I'm a 48 year old female that's on my second marriage (this ones a keeper thank you) and the kids for the moment have flown the coop so to speak. One lives fairly close by, about a 35 minute drive and the other 5 hours by car (And I'm such a savvy Mom I love my webcam, texting,twitter, facebook oh and that old thing called a "phone" we stay well connected).
Somehow along my journey in life I've ended up with lots of acquaintances, but now no close friends. How did this happen you ask? Well I'm not really sure exactly but they seemed to drop away over the years as I moved or just life got in the way. Now I'm ready to have "girlfriends" and well I'm alone? Like a said I do have friends, just no one really close anymore. I see other women out with their "girlfriends" laughing and having coffee. At the gym with their heads close talking and out shopping for clothes together or having lunch.
So I guess I want to explore how I got to this place in my life, and wonder are there others like me out there, I mean I'm pretty normal aren't I? I work part-time, and I have "hobbies", and in general I'm pretty busy on my day off through out the day with grocery shopping, going to the gym, errands. But it seems when you get to "my" age no one wants to be "best friends" because their "dance card" is already full, so yeah they might meet you for lunch once but that's about it. It's like I'm running after the bus and they see me in the bus but just keep talking and wave back and won't tell the bus driver to stop for me to get on....Is it because I was born an only child and I've felt like an outsider? Do I have a big sign on my forehead "doesn't care for organized religion, not a big drinker/lush, leans more liberal-ish these days, has opinions that may not make me popular" ? I mean I still have faith in my heart and moral code that I believe and live by, and "YES" I do like a nice drinkie poo now and then just not a whole bottle of wine to myself. And yeah this old broad has got a few opinions however uniformed they might be, I try to stay "in the know" thanx to modern technology and my husband. And I do like to engage in a fiesty enchange of words about the goings on in the world, even if I don't KNOW everything. Hey...I'm willing to learn some facts, though their are many out there who spew such garbage and are such haters it's hard to believe we as humans are taking so many steps backwards.....hmmm....off topic....focus.....

It's kinda sad really, I don't feel 48 inside at all. I'm not ready to join the polyester pantsuit crowd by any means (though occasionally I do admit I've worn poly that's very hip of course). I love shopping at H&M, Urban Outfitters, Forever21 (because I'm Forever 48!, hey that be a great name for a store?) Now age and gravity had definitely reared it's ugly head (but we can save this for future blog material). But within my financial means I try to keep myself looking good and youthful with out trying to look ridiculous (well I hope I'm not looking ridiculous, or atleast my kids will tell me if I've gone to far).

So I guess this will be my "cheap therapy" route here to figure out how I got to this point in my life, and how I can make some real friends now that I actually have some "free" time. And who knows I may just end up blogging to myself, but I also may find that I'm not alone either in this quest on this highway of humanhood. So I'll be back later to add and see how this grows, any positive feedback is always appreciated.

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